Last month, I hosted my first retreat. I used friends as my guinea pigs and my 40th birthday as the excuse. In fact, that’s all it was in the beginning. What started out as something I wanted to do for fun with a group of friends became the inspiration for my career shift to travel advisement.
Because it started out as a birthday trip, some things were done differently than I ever would for a professional retreat (at the top of that list, this trip was not for profit). There were other decisions made simply to save money and keep it more affordable. Beyond that, however, there are a few things I won’t do again.
The Retreat: A 5-night stay in Thirlestane Castle, 30 miles south of Edinburgh, that included castle activities, a day in Edinburgh, and a day of travel in the Scottish countryside.
5. Rental cars are for people, not for luggage
At the beginning and end of the castle stay, half the group needed travel arrangements to/from the Edinburgh airport, while the other half needed arrangements to/from Edinburgh Waverley train station. I, as the group leader, was already in the city and needed to do some grocery shopping. Rather than booking transport for everyone else in the city with me, I simply rented a car large enough that they could all come with me.
I had rented a mid-size SUV, but when I got to the car rental office, my agent said there was no way we would fit all the necessary luggage into that backseat, and he upgraded us to a full-sized SUV. As an American driving on British roads for the first time, a full-sized SUV wasn’t really what I had wanted to drive. In the end, even with the larger vehicle, we barely had room for groceries on the way to the castle, and with an extra person departing the castle, everyone had luggage on their laps and I couldn’t see out of the back window.
Did I ultimately need the rental car? That’s up for debate. It certainly helped with groceries, but that was a single trip. Otherwise I just wanted us to have it for emergencies. The money I’d expected to save in shuttle costs went towards the rental car upgrade. I could have shuttled my friends and gotten a smaller, easier to drive car and paid the same amount, if not a little less.
4. Communal meals were underutilized
One of the things I planned into the trip was having the group cook together. Everyone pitched in without needing to be told, and I don’t think anyone did more than their fair share. It was, honestly, one of the best things about the trip for me. As a single person living alone, I don’t have an excuse to cook like that often. I think we all enjoyed having a group to cook for that was equally willing to take turns in the kitchen.
We could’ve done it more. We only did it for one lunch and two dinners. I think we would have all felt better had we added in a couple more group cooked meals, rather than eating out.
Obviously this is not going to be a great option for every group, but for our retreat of 8 geriatric millennial adults, we needed more of that slowness and simplicity.
3. The schedule was too rigid
In an effort to keep things interesting, I planned something in the morning and afternoon every day of the trip. I didn’t want anyone to feel like they weren’t getting their money’s worth. But, since they were mostly outdoor activities, we had the problem of losing daylight at 4:30pm (being November in Scotland). It meant the days were compact, often started earlier than the group preferred, and we lacked time to sit and breathe and BE.
Part of the point of this trip to give everyone cozy time to hang in a castle. We had that, but we didn’t have time to dwell in a castle.
2. We didn’t have a nothing day
Related to #3 was the need for a nothing day. A day where I hadn’t planned anything and the group was left with more time to plan their own things and create their own adventures. Our last day at the castle, I found myself annoyed that I didn’t have enough unbooked time, and I think most of the group felt the same. When we did have spare time, it felt rushed. If I were to do again, I would make sure we have a day with nothing planned except meals, and that those meals be very simple.
1. I didn’t do an orientation/arrival meeting
I had plans for things I wanted the group to do and I wanted the group to know. Our arrival didn’t go quite as smoothly as I’d hoped, and some of the group arrived before I did. I ultimately arrived close to our catered dinner time, and I leaned into that being our opening meeting rather than having an official orientation led by myself. Because I didn’t lay out everything from the beginning, we had some miscommunications and some cozy activities never got touched. I’m kicking myself for not making it a larger priority.
Honestly, this trip was incredible, and one of my most favorite things to plan. Everyone still had a great time. But the above mentioned slow-downs and changes to logistics will make my next retreat that much better.
Interested in talking to me about planning a retreat for your group of friends, let’s chat! Book a meeting and talk about how to make that fairy tale happen for you!
